Wednesday, 11 June 2014

On the top of the World (Cup)

England on the left, Italy on the right. I know who I'd rather  do tequila shots with.

OK let's kick off the second half. The last time you saw HTO, we were fizzling out in the middle of the Euros in 2012. Now it's the World Cup and the internet needs us once more. Everyone is going to be talking about football, but not everyone is going to like it.

If you're new to the Half-Time Oranges movement, welcome. We like getting into the spirit of football but we're not so keen on the in-depth analysis. We like players who make jokes. Mostly, we like watching grown men cry.

If you're half-arsed about football, you'll be right at home.

And oh my, how the game has changed since we last saw each other! Sepp Blatter's thousand-year reign of blood and fury is reaching its peak, David Beckham is retiring to care for his tattoos and - well, Buffon is still playing in goal for Italy.

England v Italy is the first big match, at least if you listen to anyone I've heard chatting on the train. See pic above for an indication of how that might go down. Yes, they will be playing in the middle of the jungle, though I assume there will be some sort of pitch facility available.

Jack Wilshere has assured us that the England team is thoroughly prepared with some sort of cooling system in the steamy Manaus changing rooms. "It's like a fan and cold water comes out," he has explained. "I'm not sure what it is but it's good. I've never seen it before."

It sounds marvellous. They are ready. We are ready. Let's do this.

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