Balotelli has unfortunately found himself in the middle of something very serious at the Euros, which is the ongoing issue of racism that perennially lurks around football internationals. But far more than being just a victim of the insecurities of morons, he's football's greatest comedian - or possibly comedy's greatest footballer.
He's pretty famous for this, but now his season at Manchester City is over and he's on the world stage playing for Italy, and additionally his funniest moments have been slightly overshadowed by his more violent ones, his antics bear some reflection.
Here are five reasons why you, too, should be excited every time Balotelli pitches up anywhere.
1. It's difficult to narrow down Balotelli's strangest qualities, but a solid starting point is that he's allergic to grass. Frankly it's a miracle he's even outside, let alone that he runs around on it and slams head-first into it for a living.
2. His absurdist approach to honesty. Towards the beginning of last season, he crashed his car in Manchester. When the police searched and breathalysed him, they asked him why they found him carrying £5000 in cash. His reply? "Because I am rich." Further example of his richness: allegedly driving around Manchester handing out stuff he'd bought from Argos to strangers. He's almost Paul Gascoigne lite, minus the fishing rod.
3. The night before the Manchester Derby, he accidentally set his house on fire by letting off a firework in his bathroom. Or maybe it was a friend who let off the firework. Or maybe, if you let off a firework inside your house, any resulting fire probably can't then be described as "accidental". History is inconclusive. But in any case, that's a committed approach to calamity. Nonetheless, he scored in the match the next day and...
4. ...as part of his goal celebration, he lifted up his shirt to reveal another shirt, carrying the slogan "WHY ALWAYS ME?"
5. He's Italian and his name is Mario.
"I don't speak with him every day, otherwise I would need a psychologist."
- Roberto Mancini
- Roberto Mancini
'Fraid I'm with Alan Hansen and Mark Lawrenson on this one: Super Mario tends to lose out to Stupid Mario most of the time. His off-field antics may've provided a little light entertainment earlier in the season, but a player can only get away with that kind of comical idiocy if his on-field performances stay consistently top-notch. Sadly for Balotelli, he's proved a disruptive, unreliable and wildly inconsistent force for City. He's relatively young though. Maybe we'll see him grow up a bit next season. If he sticks around of course.
ReplyDelete[Incidentally, I'm aware that the above is a rather po-faced comment on what looks to be the beginnings of an entertaining blog! But it had to be said. I'll be quiet now.]
ReplyDeleteWell, maybe he will - at the moment, he's definitely not as good as he thinks he is, and that kind of arrogance is exactly what leads to sloppy play.
ReplyDeleteI disagree that players can only get away with it by being consistently the best, though that helps - as long as they prove they deserve their place in the squad, playing the clown can give a club a much more interesting and loveable image, and contribute to team spirit and general atmosphere. From that point of view they can be an asset.
You're right about him being disruptive though. Maybe as he grows up, he'll correct the balance. There's also a danger of people getting bored of his antics and writing him off as a player, which would be a shame for his long-term career - remember how unruly Beckham was at the beginning, and he ended up being Mr Sensible.
Also, haha! No, I'm just glad a proper football fan has stopped by. Though as you say, I'm probably mostly going to keep it light.
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